Today

Well, today I learned that “that man” allows b to call his girlfriend “mommy!” I don’t know what in the fuck is wrong with these two, but they are certainly made for each other. How, in good conscience, would you allow another person’s child to call you mommy? It’s not like I’m dead or an absentee parent. This just goes to show how self absorbed and idiotic they truly are. I just don’t understand. He even tried to blame it on the books they read, and then he tried to justify it by saying that b calls me “my mommy” and his girlfriend “mommy”. Wtf!? Those are piss pore excuses. I’m so sick of dealing with the disrespect. At least now I know why b wouldn’t say her name. They’re playing a sick game with my child.

Meeting the gf (stupid is as stupid does)

So tonight, after much back and forth, I met the gf. As I said earlier, it was pretty much a waste of time because she pretty much has no mind of her own and repeated most of what ‘that man’ has been saying. ‘That man’ tried to be all in the middle of the conversation, but I told him to let her talk to me alone. She’s grown and should be able to have a grown up conversation.

She says didn’t feel it was her place to meet me even though she knew I didn’t want her around. She also said that she didn’t feel that she should meet me early on in their relationship because she didn’t know how long they were together. If that was really the case, then why be around a baby!? I told her she was disrespectful to knowingly be around my child when I did not want her to, and I really question her character as a result of her choices.

I agree that it was ‘that man’s’ responsibility to introduce us, but he was too busy being a douchebag and trying to prove that he could be in a relationship. He pretty much failed in that area.

I went and got b to see how he would react to her. I ashes him who she was, and he didn’t reply. He just put his head down and made noises. She informed me that b calls her ‘mommy’. Really!? I kept my cool though. Then to deflect, ‘that man’, tries to say that I have a bf who b calls ‘papi’! Nice try asshole!

I also shared my disgust about not informing me about the new baby and told her how b has been acting out. She said she would talk to ‘that man’ about that. Why in the hell does she have to talk to a grown ass man about his child?

Overall, I feel this was a waste of time, but at least I got to express my concerns. All I can do is pray that my child is safe when he’s over there. There’s an old saying that says something like, “God protects babies and fools.” That man is a fool with a baby, so b is doubly protected.

Wanna be starting something

I guess “that man” woke up yesterday morning feeling the great need to get on my last damn nerve. He sends me a text saying my sons hair looks matted.

Now, if you read ‘The haircut from hell,’ you already know I feel some type of way about my sons hair. A couple of months ago, we agreed to let it grow out. Before b’s awful subpar haircut, he had a head full of curly hair. I’m trying to get his hair back to the curly state, but the haircut pretty much disrupted his curl pattern. It’s curly on the sides straight in some places, nappy in others. But I digress…

I informed “that man” that I was trying to reestablish b’s curl pattern that was ruined. I don’t comb b’s hair out into an afro (like he does, it’s not the fucking 70’s), that defeats the purpose of trying to grow his hair back. I informed him that I use moisturizing products, not grease. He goes on to text that b doesn’t have a curl pattern. Being that he’s been balding since his 20’s, I guess I’m at fault for expecting him to comprehend hair care. But damn, isn’t his girlfriend there? Guess she doesn’t know too much about hair care either.

Anyway, he threatens that if I don’t comb b’s hair into an afro, he’s going to have his hair cut. Here we go with this shit again! I guess he wants a replay of what happened the last time he had b’s haircut without my permission.

Y’all pray for me! ✌️

Communication goes a long way…

Over the weekend, I found out that “that man” and his girlfriend have a new baby. He didn’t have the courtesy to let me know; I found out from someone else. So when he dropped b off on Sunday, I asked if he had anything to tell me. This fool says, “No,” and had a dumb look on his face. I tell him that when he does things in his life that affect b, he needs to let me know, and I wished him a good night. He then wanted to go around in circles asking what I was talking about, and eventually (10 minutes later) admits what I already know. He gives this bullshit explanation about how he likes to do things in his own timeframe & blah, blah blah… I told him that I definitely need to meet his gf now. He goes on to say he’s been trying to arrange it, but he didn’t want me to meet her while she was pregnant because I would upset her, and cause harm to the baby- ultimate bullshit!

I let him know that not informing me of the pregnancy/baby was immature, inconsiderate, and trifling. I need to be informed about anything that will affect my child, end of argument. Why not tell me? What in the hell am I going to do about it- hunt the girl down and force her to have an abortion?

He became so defensive, yelling and carrying on. He wouldn’t move when I was trying to close the door. What’s there to yell about? You have a new baby, why are you yelling? Why are you mad that I know? I think it’s funny.

I’m just sick of dealing with him, and if have decided to give him the same courtesy that he has been giving me. Fuck trying to be civil. I’m done! At this point I have no interest in even meeting her.

Court sucked today 😒

Well we had court today, and it didn’t go as I hoped. The master said that circumstances haven’t changed enough to modify the visitation to allow me to have the first right of refusal & have a drop off time specified. She also denied my request for “that man’s” girlfriend’s info even though he admitted that she’s over his time the majority of the time he has b. That’s fine because I already have her name, address, & phone number. I also ran her name through the state case search; she has a lot of moving violations. “That man’s” argument was that he never leaves b with her, so I asked him who watches b while he showers. This dumb ass says that he lets b run in & out of the shower while he bathes- very safe super dad! They better hope no harm comes to b while he’s with them, or there will be hell to pay! Oh yeah, then he said that if I date someone & have him around b, he wants to meet the guy. I don’t see how that’s different from what I’m asking! I don’t need to meet the chick, I just need to know who to call if something happens to b!

The master also denied my request for modification for child support, which was also fine. I just wanted to verify that he actually does have insurance coverage for b. He’s claiming that he only makes $16/hour, yet he pays a mortgage & child support, along with other expenses. I’m pretty sure that he’s hiding his assets. Both times he failed to bring copies of his tax returns, although I provided his lawyer with a copy of mine. He submitted these bogus looking pay stubs (see below). Has anyone ever seen stubs that look like this??? Even the master admitted something was off with them and noted that it was highly unlikely that he’s supporting himself on $16/hr, so she denied his request to have me pay his attorneys fee. My takeaway from this is to subpoena his financial info. Now, I’m trying to decide whether or not to try & obtain his real financial info….

Haircut from hell! 💇😱

Today is b’s first birthday. I planned to have a small party for him at my aunt’s house after “that man” dropped him off. I saw them get out of the car, and I had a weird feeling. As they walked to the door, I noticed that b was wearing a hat. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t make me suspicious, but “that man” never puts a hat on him. I take the hat off, and see that b’s hair has been cut! Not only has it been cut, it looks awful! “That man” seemed somewhat amused that I was upset. I guess he didn’t think that I, or B, wanted wanted to be present for b’s first haircut. He continues to prove how much of a douche bag he really is. Needless to say, an argument ensued, and I won’t go into further detail…

I am happy to report that the problem has been fixed!!

Visiting Pop-Pop

The Sunday after Thanksgiving, I took b to visit his grandfather, (step)grandmother, and uncle-“that man’s” family, although he barely communicates them. “That man” has daddy issues because he feels that his dad wasn’t there for him when he was growing up. He even asked me not to let his father’s family see b. I basically told him that I’m not going to deny b access to his grandparents & uncle.

They hadn’t seen b since Christmas, although I let them know they were welcome to visit whenever. His grandfather had a stroke during the summer and has been recovering. I thought this would be a good time to visit. I feel that b needs to get to know everyone I his family, not just those that “that man” deems worthy. They are the only ones on “that man’s” side that gave me their contact information. But I digress…

We had a great visit. Although b’s grandfather is still recovering from the stroke & cannot speak, it was obvious that he was happy to see b! We stayed for a couple of hours; b played and ran all around. I am definitely going to make sure that b visits on a regular basis. There’s just something about babies that brings joy to any situation!

While we were visiting, I couldn’t help but to think about “that man”. He hasn’t been to visit his father, not even once! He even had the nerve to call him his “sperm donor” right after he had the stroke! It’s really a shame. Life is way too short to hold grudges, especially when someone is ill. Even if he doesn’t want to see his father, what about his little brother??? He’s only 10! But then again, he claims that he isn’t his brother, just his father’s son. That just goes to show how much a douche bag this dude is. Smh!

8 minutes until Thanksgiving…

It’s almost Thanksgiving, and I haven’t posted in a while. I decided I should write about all of the things I am thankful for. First, I am extremely thankful for my boys; they are my life!!! I’m not sure what type of mess I would be in if I didn’t have them. Being a parent has expanded my capacity to love far beyond how I thought I could. Even though b’s father is a douchebag, I am thankful that things aren’t worse than they are. I am thankful that I have a job that I love (although frustrating, at times) that allows us to live comfortably; my boys have everything that they need and most of what they want. I am thankful for great friends and family who are supportive and help me recognize when I am in the wrong. I am thankful that I am a home, well condo, owner and that I have reliable transportation. I am thankful that b is back in the normal category, regarding his weight, and that he continues to grow & learn each day. He has mastered walking; now he’s into everything! I am thankful that B is a great older brother. He loves b and is a great help. I am thankful that B is excelling in school and will be taking the test for the gifted program at the end of the month. With all of that being said, thank you for reading & have a great Thanksgiving!

Baby steps

b took two (unassisted) steps Wednesday night 👏👏!!! B & I looked at each other and he yelled, “He’s doing it!” I think B was more excited than I was! He loves his little brother so much 💙!! When b realized what he did, he got really excited and started smiling & laughing. He crawled over, grabbed onto my shirt, & started jumping. Too bad “that man” missed it; that’s what happens when you’re a douche! 👐